Ask the Singles: Is Showing Up 45 Minutes Early Psychotic?

Too Early, here's how it works. Nobody gets to the course "early." There's on time, and there's the people who were already here.

I got here at 5:30 to wait for a single spot to open up. Since then I've had a coffee, two hot dogs, and a disagreement with a sprinkler head that I'm comfortable saying I won. I've hit putts on the practice green with the 15-foot break nobody has ever solved. I've stretched, which mostly means looking at my phone while leaning on a club.

Forty-five minutes isn't psychotic. It's respectful. Get here earlier. Get to know Marge. Don't park in Marge's spot.

Depends what shift you just closed. If I get off at 2 a.m., "early" is a theoretical concept. If I'm riding (I am), I roll up when the cart is ready and the coffee is still a suggestion.

That said: people who arrive hot and frantic make worse playing partners than people who arrived early and bored. Bored golfers have already made peace with the day. Bring that energy. Leave the psychosis for the Saturday morning group chat.

Early is a morning problem. The Ghost deals in dusk.

Arrive when the green fee drops and the light goes gold-pink. Bring one ball you don't mind losing to a shadow. Leave when you can still find the parking lot. Forty-five minutes early for twilight is just… on time for the afterlife of the tee sheet.

Early is fine. Late is rude.

Stretch. Hydrate. Stop texting the group. Six more words: Be ready when they call.