Meet the Singles Bag diagram live

Dale

The 6:04 AM Walker — Towel on each side of the bag. Speaks rarely; answers permanently.

Funny bio

Age
61
Archetype
The 6:04 AM Walker
Tee-time habitat
First light on every muni in the county. Pull cart only. Practice green by 5:45.
Claimed handicap
14 (honest)
Actual handicap
Whatever the card says after he re-adds the turn twice.

Dale retired from "logistics," which is the word he uses when he doesn't want to talk about work. He arrives at 5:30 for a 6:04 tee time the way other people arrive for jury duty: early, prepared, and faintly disappointed in everyone else.

He walks. Always. A pull cart with one squeaky wheel announces him two holes away. He keeps a towel on each side of the bag — one for clubs, one for hands — and will explain the difference once per round, then never again. Two hot dogs before the turn. Coffee that has been cooling since the parking lot. Fourteen used Pro V1s with three red dots; every one's a keeper.

Dale does not small-talk. Dale nods. If you join his group, he will nod once. That is the whole onboarding process. By hole 4 you will either be absorbed or politely furniture. Either outcome is fine with Dale.

He stretches by leaning on a club while looking at his phone. He has won disagreements with sprinkler heads. He knows Marge. Do not park in Marge's spot.

What's in the Bag

What's in my bag spread for Dale: pull cart, Ping Eye 2 irons, Big Bertha driver, Fig Newtons

Click the spread to zoom.

  • Driver: 2004 Big Bertha 10.5° — original headcover, cleaned after every round.
  • Irons: Ping Eye 2, 3–PW. Bought with a 1982 bonus. Hasn't needed the 3 yet.
  • Wedge: One. Also sand wedge, chipper, and spatula.
  • Putter: 1984 Ping. Same grip since Reagan.
  • Fuel: Coffee + Fig Newtons. "Keeps me more regular than Big Ben."
  • On the line: 14 used Pro V1s, three red dots. Every one's a keeper.
  • Towels: Two. Mixing them up is how a man loses his grip, in every sense.
  • Transport: Pull cart since forever. Never a cart cart.
Bag notes: 30% equipment, 70% ritual. The bag has outlasted three presidencies and one knee. Nothing in it is new. Everything in it works.